I am quite literally the worst travel blogger in the history of all travel bloggers. I succumbed to the excitement that was living in Moscow and didn’t give myself a spare second to update anything! Enough excuses, though. Here’s a few things I’ve learnt in my time here, punctuated with touristy snaps.
1. “Open 24 Hours” does not in fact mean that they are open twenty-four hours of the day. I strongly suspect it means that the building is in fact on the premises all day. Shops advertising such hours are usually open between 10am and 10pm.
2. Whatever happens, Moscow will never run out of florists. I’m unsure as to where they find these flowers, but if you are ever in need of greenery, look no further than five feet in front of you.
3. If you can’t find the red M, look for a yellow one. There’s always a McDonalds near a metro stop!
4. When you want someone to be able to speak English, they won’t be able to. However when you are avoiding charity buskers, they probably know enough to give you a pretty convincing sales pitch.
5. Exact change is paramount. If your total comes to 181 roubles, don’t be so rude as to consider 200 roubles “near enough.” God help you if the cashpoint gave you a 5000 rouble note. Might as well use it in lieu of toilet paper.
6. You can’t spend kopeks. They aren’t worth the material from which they are made.
7. Whether or not you speak Russian, order from the Russian menu. The English one usually has much higher prices!
8. The national food of Russia is Sushi. I may or may not have made this up. Regardless of the actual national food, Sushi is on every street corner. For the one closest to you, see point 2. r.e. florists.
9. Russians like to hold the shower head rather than conveniently attach it to the wall. It makes sense really, if you think about it. Oh wait…
10. Russian men are
constantly seizing the opportunity to sexually harass forward.
(11. One for the Colloquial Russian-ers. Peter Green doesn’t actually live in Moscow. I looked.)